10 things that happen when you’re a vegan at Christmas

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From meat-free centrepieces to faux-leather handbags, vegans have the holly-est, jolly-est holidays of all – most of the time. Here’s 10 things that happen when you’re a vegan at Christmas.

1. Someone will ask you if you cheat by eating meat as part of your Christmas meal

 

Nope – the idea of consuming flesh, muscle and blood, not to mention cow secretions and chicken ovulations sounds as gross now as it does at any other time of the year.

2. A distant relative will give you an awkward present

Whether it’s a leather wallet or a non-vegan wooly jumper you’ll have to decide what to do with it and whether it’s worth explaining your convictions to a half-deaf 73-year-old.

3. You’ll cook – or eat first

Because you want to eat something that isn’t mini cocktail sausages on sticks or the single plate of cheese and pickle sandwiches ‘for the veggies’.

You’ll either bring a dish (or three) to share or fill up beforehand.

4. You’ll have the Tofurky talk

Because many non-vegans can’t get their head around the idea of a lump of tofu being preferable to a dead bird who spent its life packed in a windowless shed with thousands of others, breathing in burning ammonia and wading through poop.

Plus, Tofurky is delicious.

5. You’ll shock people by covering said Tofurky in gravy

Because they don’t realise Bisto is vegan.

6. You’ll become a pie detective

Because some mince pies are vegan, some are not. Here’s a start – Waitrose’s Essential Shortcrust Mince Pies are safe, plus they’re £1 for 6. Hooray!

7. You’ll put out vegan treats for Father Christmas

Santa loves Oreos and a tall glass of soya milk.

8. You’ll give people a nudge with gifts

For stocking stuffers, look no further than Áine Carlin’s Keep It Vegan cookbook, a copy of the groundbreaking documentary Blackfish or some vegan brownies.

And, if a friend hints they’re thinking of giving someone a pet for Christmas you’ll try to talk them out of it.

9. You’ll avoid the grotty grottos

Because real reindeer belong at the North Pole, not at your local shopping centre.

10. It’s the most wonderful time of the year

From blowing everyone’s mind with a delectable vegan feast to spreading cheer at one of the UK’s top vegan-friendly pubs, a vegan Christmas is a happy, joyous affair.

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